Teri's UnSpun Essay Draft

UnSpun Essay
Chapter 1 & 2
Teresa Troyer
July 3, 2008
Authors, Brooks Jackson and Kathleen Jamieson wrote, "un-Spun finding facts in a world of [disinformation]", to attempt to unravel and reveal the deception and lies that come at us, GQ Public, from advertisers and politicians, on a daily basis. In a world of mixed signals and misinformation we need to educate ourselves to the reality of disinformation and learn to identify when we are hearing it. The information we hear and accept can mean the difference between life and death or electing the wrong person into office.

Let’s take a look at what Jackson and Jamieson have to say about disinformation. They go back one hundred years to Clark Stanley’s Snake Oil, in 1906. They show how his tactics for baseless claims of a cure all then, are still as underhanded today. Jackson and Jamieson, found another animal oil product called, “Deception Wrinkle-Cheating Cream”. The advertisers claim with use of their Emu Oil, “it was possible your wrinkles will no longer even exist .” Like the Snake Oil it boasted great wonders for the consumer, yet when investigated the manufactures could not provide proof of their claims.

“Spin” is a polite word for deception. Spinners mislead by means that range from subtle omissions to outright lies. Spin pervades both commerce and politics. Jackson and Jamieson write, “Whether the spin is political, commercial, or ideological, and whether the stakes are trivial or life and death, the ways by which we are deceived are consistent and not so hard to recognize.”

Political Snake Oil is where politicians will tell you pretty much anything to sway your vote or support. One such example is George W. Bush speaking to the voters about becoming “energy independent.” To achieve this goal would require huge changes that he, nor his opponent John Kerry cared to propose.

Jackson and Jamieson say, “Candidates want to avoid discussing politically painful solutions during an election year, or ever. But there’s real harm in pretending that there are easy solutions to big problems, or that the problems don’t exist.

The deception comes on many levels, it could be an outright lie, or deliberately filling voters’ heads with disinformation about their opponents and about their own policies, or it could be that they merely implying what they want you to believe. Some politicians not only deceive the voters with false claims, but they even deceive members of their own parties.

Yet the public’s view on political issues may not just swayed by the politicians. Jackson and Jamieson write, “ Michael Moore’s movie Fahrenheit 9/11 left many viewers with the impression that President Bush has approved a special flight to allow relatives of Osama bin Laden, who lived in the US, to get out of the country without being questioned, while US airspace was closed in the days immediately following 9/11. While 9/11 commission found that not to be true. The FBI gathered the bin Laden family members together and questioned many of them and then flew them out a full week after the airspace was reopened.”

In advertizing, Jackson and Jamieson found that deception can be bad for your health. This can be anything from false advertising of something like Listerine, or as serious as Discreet, a home test for HIV. As with Discreet, the U.S. Centers for Disease control and Prevention for that 59.3% of the tested kits provided inaccurate results. The FTC offered no estimate of how many HIV-infected persons might have been lulled into a false sense of security by an erroneous negative reading.

So how do we spot all of this deception? Jackson and Jamieson listed a few warning signs for you to look for when watching ads or listening to a politician’s speech.
• Warning sign: If it’s scary, be wary.
• Warning sign: A story that’s “Too Good”
• Warning sign: The Dangling Comparative. Larger, Better, Faster
• Warning sign: The Superlatives Swindle - words such as most, highest, biggest in history or smallest ever.
• Warning sign: The Blame Game
• Warning sign: The “Pay You Tuesday” con.
• Warning sign: Glittering Generalities

After reading just the first two chapters of Jackson and Jamieson’s, un-Spun finding facts in a world of [disinformation], I am even more disheartened by the world around us. Being a person with a type “A” personality, I see things as they are right or they are wrong, you are telling the truth or you are not.

It is wrong that advertisers are able to put out false claims about their product that may endanger the lives of the public. Case in point, Seville Marketing from Canada sold a the product called Discreet, a home test for HIV. Seville claimed its product was 99.4% accurate, but the U.S. Centers for Disease control and Prevention found that 59.3% of the tested kits provided inaccurate results. This included both false HIV-positive results and false HIV-negative results. In May 2004 the FTC sued Seville but it wasn’t until May 18, 2005 that the case was settled. Seville paid no fines but were prohibited the company from selling its test kids or making deceptive claims. By then how many lives were affected by this disinformation? The FTC offered no estimate of how many HIV-infected persons might have been lulled into a false sense of security by an erroneous negative reading.

Truth-in-advertising laws give some protection from false claims in commercial advertisements but a lot still get through. It could be months before regulators can get it off the air. With creative thinking many advertisers have learned to weasel-word their commercials so that their claims are literally accurate yet still misleading.

As Jackson and Jamieson said, “As we hope is becoming clear, respect for facts isn’t a major concern in the advertising industry, and is far too rare in politics.” Knowing that we can’t trust what we hear about products that we purchase everyday is bad enough, but then we turn to those that we place in power of our governments. I’m talking about every elected position all the way from our local Sheriff to the President of the United States. They actually have a legal right to lie in their television and radio ads. There is no federal law requiring truth in political ads at all.

What you need to remember is that advertisers and politicians will write their ads and speeches to play on the fears and emotions of the listeners. So we need to be active listeners and approach claims cautiously when they are too dramatic, especially when we want them to be true. Remember that extravagant claims are just too easy to accept when they match our biases. Watch out for these warning signs, they are thrown at us on a daily basis. When we are told that something is bigger, better, higher, then just ask “compared to what?”

to terihd

Hi Teri. I thought I had already read and responded to this, but it seems I was wrong about that. I like to respond as quick as I can to those who post early, but sometimes I slip up.

The draft gets off to a pretty good start, making it clear why it matters or should matter to your reader, that we might buy dangerous stuff or vote for the wrong person.

Here's what you can do with the essay before submitting by midnight Friday. When it comes to the summary, you should focus on just one chapter and then respond to something in that chapter. Since the present response deals with chapter one, you can drop the chapter two warning signs. Be sure that each of the major details is provided for chapter one, because some are missing, such as the prescription strength malarkey and some others too I believe, such as the pack of wolves. Include all the major details from the chapter and used the guide I posted to help you plug any gaps.

With the response, the first point, regarding HIV testing, is the best, but it needs to go beyond the book. Provide an example along these lines that you have seen somewhere in your reading, watching or listening. The example need not be so stark. It could be diet, it could be (assuming you get as much spam as I do) about enhancing your sex life (even though most of these are aimed at men, though I never understand quite why. ;-)). Whatever you chose, provide an example that is health related, maybe even from food such as the ads I've seen with tennis player McEnroe (can't remember his first name) who is referred to as the "fiber guy" in the ad for some challenge. No cereal is going to make anyone all that much healthier, but the ad creates that impression, kinda like the cheerios lower your cholesterol ads. There's plenty to work with there.

You can also do something similar again with the truth in advertising. Yes, they often provide what the second chapter refers to as literally true falsehoods, but find some specific examples to illustrate your response. without those examples, the responses won't be particularly effective in making it clear to your reader why it all matters, that you have good reason to say what you do. Examples are evidence, and evidence carries the day.

Bradley

Try again

Intro- In the Intro the first time you state the authors names you need to write the whole name. You have the title of the book correct. I can spot your thesis.

Clearly Reflects Text- I wasn't clear which chapter you were focusing on. You have a lot of chapter one with support , but with two you don't elaborate on that list.

Response- you seemed to have your own response intertwined throughout the essay, but it deserves its own paragraph.

Conclusion- I do like that the conclusion ends on a question, it makes the reader reflect on what they read. I do think It needs a bit more meat though.

Paragraphs- Easy to read, flows well. The list is distracting though.

Grammar-Sentences do not start with "But". This is a conjunction. Instead try a comma before the but if it applies.

Intro- It needs to talk

Intro- It needs to talk about the book being about lies, spin, deception. Misinformation sounds like accidentally being told the wrong info. If you throw in a word that shows the reader they are being lied to they might be more apt to read this book.(I would want to keep reading if it stated that someone was flat out lying to me)

Clearly Reflects Text- God job, but I'd either cut some of ch1 or ch2 out so you could focus more in depth on that chapter. (Less info you have to explain.)

Presents Student's View- Throughout the whole summary you had your input which went well with the summary, but I think you should stretch you main student view paragraph out. Talk more maybe about how surprised or not surprised you were after reading this. Maybe give some examples of how you now see spin in your everyday life. (I need to do that too)Oha and something about the type A personality doesn't flo right. I'm not sure, but read it to someone out loud. :)

Conclusion- Great job, I really liked your last sentence.

Paragraphs- Personally your short paragraphs make it easier for me to read. It flows well. Just not sure about the warning signs. (Read my other comment that I wrote you)

Grammar-5th pararagh-don't start a sentence with "But",maybe say, There's also real harm.... instead.I hope that helps you. :)

Jackie

This is Hard

As I told someone else it's hard to critique someone you don't know and tell them they did something wrong, but I don't think that saying "this is great but make it longer" actually helps anyone so here we go:

In the first paragraph you put a comma before and after "wrote". I don't think you have to have one there. Remember, with commas the rule is "if you can't take that word or words out and still have it make sense then you shouldn't use a comma there". Also, the name of the book, I believe, should be capitalized where the authors capitalized it.

I think "boosted" should be "boasted"

I really like your sentence, "Remember, extravagent claims are just too easy to accpet when they match our biases". That is so true so I feel that you have a good sense for what the book is truly about.

I hope these suggestions are helpful.

Mary

Mary B

please respond using prompt

Have a look at the response rubric and respond to the points addressed there so as to better help the writer and yourself. Thanks. Bradley

Thank you

You were right I got carried away with the commas. I also fixed the spelling error. Thank you.

Teri
Keep Smiling, makes people wonder whay you have been up to.

Good

Overall you got a lot of details, but I had a hard time pin-pointing which chapter you were focusing on. I see a lot of one and a little of two in here(the list).The only other weak area is your response to the book and conclusion.

please respond using prompt

Have a look at the response rubric and respond to the points addressed there so as to better help the writer and yourself. Thanks. Bradley

Thank you

I may have mis-read the assignment. I thought that we were to get both chapters into the essay. That is why you see parts of both. I will take a closer look at the conclusion. Any suggustions?

Teri
Keep Smiling, makes people wonder whay you have been up to.

Good job, The only thing

Good job, The only thing that you might want to change is the list of warning signs. I think it might go better if instead of listing them you make it into a paragraph and maybe put an example of each warning sign. That would really give the reader a better idea. But maybe you don't need to, ask Bleck. Overall I liked it, and I really liked your last sentence, it leaves people thinking more about the book. :)

Jackie

please respond using prompt

Have a look at the response rubric and respond to the points addressed there so as to better help the writer and yourself. Thanks. Bradley

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