essay draft 4
As the time for 2008 Presidential elections is approaching people evaluate the different solutions on important issues that both Senators John McCain and Barack Obama propose. The free market system in America has created prosperity and high standards of living in the past, however today American citizens have a real concern for the current Economic situation in the country. As voters are getting ready to go to the polls, some feel confused and unsure about whom they should choose to vote for, especially the ones who do not follow politics very closely in general. Brooks Jackson and Kathleen Hall Jamieson in their book UnSpun finding facts in a world of disinformation state that “You can’t be completely certain” (156). Humans experience discomfort when they feel uncertain and they try to avoid uncertainty by any means. Voters are faced with a hard decision they need to make here soon on which the future of the country and even the world depends on. Everyone needs to take the time to learn and examine what exactly each candidate is proposing even though “we can’t be absolutely certain, but we can be certain enough to make reasonable decisions.” (157). Senators John McCain and Barack Obama have both announced their economic plans to the public. Michael Boskin who used to be a chairman of the president's council of economic advisers and who is currently a Professor of economics at Stanford University says, “Senator Obama has a pro-government, aggressive, higher taxes, higher spending agenda than Senator McCain. Senator McCain has proposed more generally to promote free trade, which I think is the right thing to do with appropriate safeguards for health and safety in our trade laws. He also has proposed to have lower tax rates...control, reduce, and reform spending…” (Weekend Edition, Aug 9, 2008).
The free trade agreement is very controversial topic in the US, it is supported by many businesses but opposed by unions, it is also a hot topic among candidates. Over the past year exports boosted two-thirds nation’s economic growth. National Association of Manufacturers (NAM) chief economist David Huether told The Washington Times "Rising exports are the brightest light for our economy right now." McCain supports it, while Obama stresses to force the changes. Obama says that he will pressure the WTO to enforce trade agreements and regulate barriers on US export. He also states that he will fix NAFTA so that it works better for American workers. Obama’s opposition to many free-trade agreements and his support of farm subsidies would reduce the businesses and workers access to foreign markets and slow the economic growth. Obama’s view on trade can damage the exports, which has been the principal contributor to U.S. growth during the past year.
John McCain says, "Free trade should be the continuing principle that guides this nation's economy”. (Wall Street Journal, February 6, 2008). John McCain believes that globalization is a great opportunity for America. He proposed the emphasis on promoting free trade by reducing the barriers to trade and enforcing laws that would strengthen the international trade. “Export growth is the strongest part of our sluggish economy, and we should be encouraging the growth of even more jobs in this sector through more free trade agreements, which give American firms more access to sell our goods and services abroad”. (McCain web). McCain also said, “Since NAFTA was concluded, it has contributed to strong job growth and flourishing trade. Since the agreement was signed, the United States has added 25 million jobs and Canada more than 4 million.” (Associate Press, June 20, 1008). McCain told the Economic Club of Canada in June regarding Obama "Demanding unilateral changes and threatening to abrogate an agreement that has increased trade and prosperity is nothing more than retreating behind protectionist walls." It is important for long-term economic growth and job creation that people have access to different markets.
John McCain’s proposed global trade solution hopefully will bring more stability and growth to US economy. Exports have been one of the leading factors to economic growth lately. They are projected to go up from $1 trillion in 2003 to $ 1.95 trillion by the end of 2008, according to the US Census Bureau. However, many Americans continue think trade is bad for the United States. There are still many controversies going around, however McCain insists that it will open doors to more jobs and higher exports and imports which in turn will strengthen the economy.
Work Cited
Brooks Jackson and Kathleen Hall Jamieson. “Unspun finding facts in a world of disinformation.”
Boskin, Michael. “Former Bush Advisor Analyzes Obama Economics.” Anonymous, Washington D.C., August 09, 2008. Proquest. SFCC.
John McCain Website www.johnmccain.com
Barack Obama Website www.barackobama.com
Ranson, David. “Wall Street Journal”.
Huether, David. “Washington Time”.
Associated Press. June 20, 2008 www.msnvcmsn.com
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to lena
The introduction provides some good background, but right now I don't see a thesis statement, just a quote from a source spelling out what he sees as the difference between the two men. Also make it clear that Boskin was an adviser to President Bush. I think that's the case, and the works cited entry does make this clear, but it's not clear the way it's written and needs to be so in the body of the essay. Because of this relationship to Bush, we can pretty much expect his to dis Obama and approve of what McCain proposes.
Reading further, it would seem that the argument is we will be better served by a McCain administration that supports and promotes free trade. Make this clear in the essay's thesis.
The two points presented so far would benefit from a more consistent development pattern/strategy. Rather than opening with a statement that free trade is controversial (which might be something to put in the merits of the opposing view rather than the opening salvo of the argument), state that free trade promotes economic growth, since that is what the paragraph largely covers. Then provide some explanation as to why economic growth is a good thing (you may need a source for this). then explain how free trade fuels economic growth (again, a source may be required because I'm assuming you are not an expert economist). Then there is a need to describe what McCain will do, specifically, to promote free trade and why this will be better for more Americans. Do something like this for each of the support points.
The opposing view could take on a variety of angles. First, there is no doubt that the weak dollar is responsible in great part for the recent surge in exports because American goods are cheaper overseas when the dollar is weak. Ideally this leads to more manufacturing, more money for workers, and then more spending by workers who then tend to buy things form overseas, and the dollar strengthen, but then exports decline and on and on and on in something of a similar cycle. I'm sure I didn't get all the major points in the cycle, but it does go something like that. Our wages go up, the cost for our products go up, and then fewer people are buying our products.
Government subsidies and tariffs also get in the way of free trade. America props up the price of sugar, as one for instance, so our sugar farmers can make a decent living. However, because of this, and because of supports for corn and ethanol, we cannot import ethanol from Brazil (I think) that is made from sugar cane which is cheaper and more renewable than ethanol made from corn. It's probably better to think of free trade in terms of a scale, from completely free to completely regulated. I don't know where our economy falls on the scale, but it's not absolutely free because we like to protect jobs and workers at home.
Bradley
Introduction: I think that
Introduction: I think that you have a good idea in there and that your thesis is a good one about learning what a candidate is proposing. You should look at the sentence Voters are faced with a hard decision they need to make here soon on which the future of the country and even the world depends on. I think you could take out the on and add a coma.
Essay Focus: Good it keeps to the thesis.
Organization: I’m not sure that the format is correct (I could be wrong) I’m not seeing a rebuttal or opposing view. I think that you could also break up or add a paragraph in the body. I also think that maybe you could bring your thesis up more in the conclusion and make it feel like there is no doubt of what you want.
Adequacy of response to assignment: I agree that you need to add an argument and rebuttal.
Appropriateness of topic: I think that your topic is very appropriate for college students and voters.
Introduction: I see where
Introduction: I see where you are going.
Essay Focus, Thesis or Main: Thesis feels strong.
Development of Ideas and/or Experiences: Feels concise
Organization, structure and/or paragraphing Effective: Nicely done.
Wording, Sentence Structure and Conventions of Standard American English: I think you can get rid of "John" after the first time you say "John McCain"
Adequacy of response to assignment: I think you need to add your response/argument before the conclusion.
Appropriateness of topic: Yes
I think this is good for a
Introduction: I think you have a really good introduction sets clear direction.
Essay Focus: The focus is good.
Development of Ideas and/or Experiences: You do a nice of developing your ideas.
Organization: Well organized.
Wording/ structure/conventions: Your paragraphs nd sentences are done well.
Adequacy of Response to Assignment: I think it is a good start but I don't see the counter argument in favor of Obama.
Appropriateness of Topic: Very appropriate for its intended audience.
Nice job so far.
Kelly