Education and Obesity

Shannon Ward
Bleck
English 101
June 5, 2009
Education and Obesity

Have you ever waited in line at the store and taken time to really notice your surroundings of people? I have. I actually look around all the time when I am at schools, stores, parks, theaters, and even gyms at the amount of humans who are obese. Do they know what harm they are causing their bodies, do they know they are putting themselves in great danger for Cardiovascular disease, Diabetes, physical and mental consequences, even death? Im sure some do, and some don’t, or maybe they feel like they are at a point of no return. “If he deteriorates his bodily or mental faculties, he not only brings evil upon all who depended on him for any portion of their happiness, but disqualifies himself for rendering the services which he owes to his fellow- creatures” (Mill 91). This brings up a good point to prove that when you are obese not only do you cause harm to yourself and your well-being, but you put others in harms way that depend on you. Children today are growing up in a world of fast food, bigger portions, less exercise, and barely any education on “Health and Fitness”.
One major concern of our country today is the amount of children who are obese, and the epidemic is on the rise. “66 percent of American adults are considered to be overweight or obese, 17 percent of all youth are overweight” (Health, obesity 288). This trend of obesity is on the rapid rise and will continue to cause this generation and generations to come major health issues, as well as mental and physical issues. Our school systems today should mandate that children from kindergarden to their senior year in high school should be taught about the basics of a healthy life style. For example, there should be a block of time set aside everyday in classrooms K-6th grade that is dedicated to human health, and advise on training your brain to make better choices for your body. When children start school they are taught how to read, write, do math, and science so they can function properly in the workforce. All of these skills are useful and create opportunity after graduation, but let’s say a person that has all these skills is obese or overweight. This individual is now known for their outward image, which is what most call “FAT”, Chubby, lazy, selfish, etc... All of a sudden this gradual snowball of weight gain over the years is covering up the real identity of skills you have gained.
Many may differ with the opinion of having “Health and Fitness” mandatory in our schools because they don’t think it is necessary, or it is a waste of time and tax payers money. Primarily people might differ because they have never experienced what “healthy” is or what it feels like to be a normal weight for their height. Statistics show that in the next 15 years “ short- and long- term health consequences of obesity are not our only concern: the estimated annual cost of obesity in the United States exceeds 152 billion in medical expenses and lost productivity”. (Health, Obesity 288). Not only will it tax people in more than one way for this epidemic of obesity, but individuals that go through life obese suffer significant disability during their lives, in terms of both mobility and activities of daily living.
Lets look at why our children today are obese as opposed to fifty years ago; more fast food, more processed food, bigger portions, kids are more sedentary, they want motorized scooters instead of a bike, kids sit and watch T.V. or play video games for hours instead of going outside to play, dinner plates at buffets have gotten bigger in the last twenty years to accommodate bigger appetites, and again there is no emphasis or structure in our schools that pertains to living a “healthy” lifestyle. From the time a child is born to the age of 12 they have adapted habits, routines, personality and memories that they will carry through the rest of their life. By this statement the argument is, a child should be educated from an early age how to make the “Healthy” choice for a more successful lifestyle physically and mentally. Let’s examine the process of mandatory “Health and Fitness” time integrated into our schools systems today; Each day Elementary teachers set aside thirty minutes to discuss a healthy diet, exercise, have kids interact in physical activities, discuss the consequences and risk factors of obesity, show them on a chart what foods are healthy, have discussions about food labels and how to read them, have a “healthy” cooking day, show them the outcomes of making better food and activity choices, explain to them the risk factors of Obesity which is: cardiovascular disease, cancer, sleep apnea, diabetes, mental issues, isolation, physical damage, even death. A little education on “Health and Fitness” in our school systems today can make a huge difference in the outcome of our children tomorrow.
Obesity unfortunately is judged, looked down upon, made fun of and debilitating in many ways. For example, an individual has their college degree, their masters and a PHD, that individual steps into an interview for a pharmaceutical position for “Female Health Care” and is interviewing for a representative sales job, one problem this individual is eighty pounds over weight, is sweating from the walk, and barely fits in the chair where the interview is held. As a hiring manager what is the first thought? We know this individual is highly qualified in education, but the physical aspect does not represent one bit of “Health and Fitness”. Why would doctors want to buy product from this person, how can you profess health when you can’t represent it in life? Will this person be hired? In most cases because of Obesity probably not. Obesity is a hinderance on life and life potential. Most American’s have seen the “Biggest Loser” on T.V. and become hooked on watching these people shed hundreds of pounds away each week, they become fans of who they want to be the “Biggest Loser” and find themselves emotionally attached to the show. Do you know what the “biggest” attachment is? It’s the fact that, while these people are shedding pounds they are also gaining life and reality to true potential of what they can accomplish now that could not be done before when they were “Obese”, they shed tears of happiness, frowning turns to smiling, families become closer, and most of all they lost the image of “Obese” and gained the image of success true happiness.
Again if we are taught from a young age how to eat right, exercise enough and mandate education in our schools on “Health and Fitness” we can start to change our “Obesity” problem today. If you really want to carry a lot of “weight” around then head to the gym, give yourself the chance to experience life to the fullest with no hesitation that it’s not possible because of your weight. If you are a parent, teach your children “Healthy” habits, exercise with them, talk to them about risk factors and consequences of “Obesity”, pack them healthy lunches for school, get them involved in sports, quit using the T.V. for a babysitter and most of all inspire your children with positive affirmation that they are beautiful no matter what they look like. Everyone has a choice when it comes to diet and exercise, so make the right choice for yourself and the ones who rely on you. Remember, “Obesity” is preventable and it is not permanent so make a “Healthy “choice for yourself and set an example for those around you.

fighting fatty

The introduction does a pretty good job of getting the discussion started, but provide a little bit of transition between the anecdote and the quote so it will make better sense to your reader as to why it's there. I'd also like to see more of a thesis. I don't think anyone of reason would disagree with the last line of the introduction, which I'm taking to be the thesis, so be clear and argumentative about why this matters, what we might do about it, something in that vein, and then present the evidence to show how the claim is valid and worth considering if nothing else. Maybe the thesis comes from the middle of the essay: "a child should be educated from an early age how to make the 'Healthy' choice for a more successful lifestyle physically and mentally." This can provide direction to the rest of the essay and its argument and it's a pretty clear claim.

The next concern is paragraph structure. In looking at the first body paragraph, I'd say the necessary material is there, but the organization is not as effective as it could be. This is the present organization:

One major concern of our country today is the amount of children who are obese, and the epidemic is on the rise. “66 percent of American adults are considered to be overweight or obese, 17 percent of all youth are overweight” (Health, obesity 288). This trend of obesity is on the rapid rise and will continue to cause this generation and generations to come major health issues, as well as mental and physical issues. Our school systems today should mandate that children from kindergarden to their senior year in high school should be taught about the basics of a healthy life style. For example, there should be a block of time set aside everyday in classrooms K-6th grade that is dedicated to human health, and advise on training your brain to make better choices for your body. When children start school they are taught how to read, write, do math, and science so they can function properly in the workforce. All of these skills are useful and create opportunity after graduation, but let’s say a person that has all these skills is obese or overweight. This individual is now known for their outward image, which is what most call “FAT”, Chubby, lazy, selfish, etc... All of a sudden this gradual snowball of weight gain over the years is covering up the real identity of skills you have gained.

Here's what I'd suggest (with some minor editing of sentences to make them a better fit):

topic statement: Our school systems today should mandate that children from kindergarden to their senior year in high school should be taught about the basics of a healthy life style. Explanation of topic's importance: Obesity is on the rapid rise and will continue to cause this generation and generations to come major health issues, as well as mental and physical issues. Evidence and Examples: One major concern of our country today is the amount of children who are obese, and the epidemic is on the rise. “66 percent of American adults are considered to be overweight or obese, 17 percent of all youth are overweight” (Health, obesity 288). Warrant: there should be a block of time set aside everyday in classrooms K-6th grade that is dedicated to human health, and advise on training your brain to make better choices for your body. When children start school they are taught how to read, write, do math, and science so they can function properly in the workforce. All of these skills are useful and create opportunity after graduation, but let’s say a person that has all these skills is obese or overweight.

I've not used all the material from the initial paragraph, but I think what is there works well. You may work in the other stuff; I'm just not going to do so for the sake of saving myself time.

Finally, provide all the best evidence as to why it would be good before getting to the opposing view, that we have enough to do to teach readin', writin' and 'rithmatic without getting into this sort of thing. Schools are not about the body, but the mind, and on and one. Then provide a paragraph a rebuttal/refutation before providing the formal conclusion, making your last appeal as to why this would be good for all, not just the kids, but taxpayers, parents and the rest of us. Bradley

Kersti's response to Shannon

Your introduction is smooth and flows. Your thesis sets up not only the next paragraph but the entire paper. You explained in great detail and with cited sources about all types of helpful informtaion on obesity. You explained why it's important for people everywhere to be health conscious. It's very disturbing to see children who are chubby and even downright fat. My sister and I were only allowed 1 hr of TV a day and the rest of the time we spent playing outside or inside (on rainy days). Some people may not know it, but if you don't have time to get to the gym (if it's physically impossible to work the gym into your schedule) then you have another alternative. You can cut all the crap out of your diet! I lost 15 lbs in 3 months by eating healthy and just walking everywhere that I could. I didn't physically go to a gym but I took the stairs instead of an elevator, I parked far away from the instrance to a store so I would walk further (and I still do these things today). You can have a cheat day (I get 1 cheat day per week) but a person's diet is about 85% of the 'battle of the bulge'. If you don't eat it (fast food, fatty, and unhealthy foods) that's less you have to worry about burning off. I already knew a lot about exercise and being healthy but I also learned a lot from your paper too! I think you did a nice job! Your paper is informative and provides the facts on why its important! Overall Great Job!

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