Intro- Your intro is good, but could use a quote from the story about the meat industry. Also, i could not really find the thesis in your intro, just make a little more clearer. Provide a little more background info and elaborate more. Good start. i give it a 2.5 or so.

Essay focus, Thesis or main point- I think that your essay focus would be much clearer with a more well rounded focus, but we can clearly see where the essay is headed so its good. Just hook the explanation paragraphs back to the theses and your good. I think its about a 2.

Conclusion- Link your conclusion back to your thesis and i think it will make it alot clearer., I like your conclusion and thought that it tied things together nicely. Link it to your intro and that will help. 2.5

Developement of ideas- I think that you develop the ideas very well. Your illustrations were very good and it too made me not want to eat meat anymore. Just make it a little longer and provide more passages from the text. 3

Orginazation/structure- Yor paper is organized well, it flows but is a little short.You could explain the elements of the video more and describe more about the video.Make it develope the claim of the thesis.
Wording and structure-I think all of the sentences flowed well, and the words made sense. I think you could insert some more with more power but other than that it makes sense. 2.5

-Conventions-Everything looks to be in the right place.

Adequecy of response to assignment- You need to explain the concepts that made the video effective. Whether it was props or something else.

Appropriate topic- I think your topic is appropriate because all of us a eat and it is important to expose what the manufacturers are putting into our food. If we want to know or not. It is appropriate for all of us.

Introduciton-2, I feel like this is agood start to an intro, but you need to provide a passage from the book to make it work. You introduce the video well and it ties to the thesis but i don't feel like the thesis is all there.
Essay Focus, Thesis, or Main Point-3, Although the thesis may not be the best, your paper does a very good job of staying on the same subject. Just shape up your thesis a little more, remember it is not a statement.
Conclusion-3, I really likethat you talked about how the video affected you personally, but I feel like you could elaborate on why the issues addressed by the video are important.
Development of Ideas and/or Experiences-2, You use a lot of specific examples from the video, and this is good, but I feel like you use so many that there is no analysis, what methods are used to get the videos point across?
and why is the issue important?
Organization, Structure, and/or paragraphing-2, I feel like the paragraphs are there, they just need a little more developing. They have good topic sentences but then I feel they just go into description of the video, rather than why the video works. In your third paragraph you mention a prop, elaborate on how this affects the overall feel of the video.
Wording and Sentence Structure- 3, The sentences you use are clear, and I didn't need to read them again in order to understand what you are talking about.
Conventions of Standard American English-3, For the most part,I'm not distracted by your conventions, however I did notice that you need a comma after The Jungle in your first sentence.
Adequacy of Response to Assignment- 2, As i have mentioned, you need to include a specific passage from The Jungle as a springboard in your introduction. I also feel that your paper reads more as a description of the video than as an analysis of it. Elaborate more on your examples rahter than just giving them.
Appropriateness of topic treatment for college reading audience- 2-3, your essay reads well and the topic is relevant, but as I have mentioned, i feel that you need to do more explaining. Your paper is a good starting point, but it needs a little more meat to be totally relevant to the assignment.