Working Conditions of 1907
Skyler Cantrell
Bleck
English 101
1/21/10
Intolerable Working Conditions
Many think of the early 1900’s as the golden ages, a time when life was so simple and everyone enjoyed what they were doing. What many do not realize is that was the false front put up by many rich, because they had poor people doing the dirty work for them. Just hearing about the horrible working conditions does not get the point across; you have to see pictures of what these people including young children had to go through, and sadly in some countries are still going through. The video “Working Conditions of 1907” found on you-tube sheds light on the work that these people were doing and shows many children working, many of them age ten or even younger. After watching this video, viewers will understand the horrendous working conditions these people had to put up with and how many young children were used for work. Seeing all of the children in dirty, ragged clothes will make the viewer want to change working conditions for the better and make sure our young children never have to work again. In Sinclair’s book The Jungle, Little Stanislovas who was only twelve had to get a full time job just to help make the house payments. The sad thing is that that is not just a thing of the past; children are still working today, in other countries where we cannot see it.
In the video “Working Conditions of 1907”, they are trying to appeal to an audience of the adult ages, because they are the ones that can force change. The video focuses mainly on young children at work, being all dirty and their clothes being all torn and ragged. In the video, it shows stills of the children so people can get a very close look at them, and usually zooms in on them so that the viewer and get close and personal with the child and the horrible conditions. The video tries to play with the emotions of the viewer by showing young kids working instead of playing and standing by large machines with which they use daily. The three main tactics used in this video are the zooming in of the camera, props, and clothing on the children.
The use of the camera really helps the maker of the video “Working Conditions of 1907” to get their point across. They like to zoom in on the children’s faces, using them to play with your emotions. It zooms in so you can see the looks on their faces and see the dirt on them. These children do not look happy, they look like a stressed out person way too young to be pulling a 9 to 5, which they worked more hours than that. Many times a twelve hour day was not uncommon. The camera will also pan out on occasion so that the viewer can see the large and dangerous looking machines that these children are working with daily. They also use all still pictures, and leave a lot of time for you to peer at the child and let your emotions take over.
Another element used well was the use of props. The props used in the video were the machines the children work on, and also the people themselves. Because this video is about the unfair treatment of children back in the early 1900’s, it shows a person that could appeal to all of people emotions, young children. Another prop shown was the large machines the children work with. The props show how large the machines are, and how small these children really are. It shows the looks on the children’s faces, the faces battered down with hard work and long days. Days without laughter or a hint of play, because if they don’t work, they most likely will not eat. The camera zooms out on the props, so that the viewer can get the full picture and the scope of what the conditions were like. Some of the machines they show bring into question if they are really legit pictures. They show electric sewing machines that look a bit too modern for the time frame. Also, they show an African American woman working in the factory, but African Americans were not allowed to work until sometime later as well. The use of props in this video helps to play with the emotions of the viewer, and brings upon the thought of change.
One more element used wisely was the clothing on the children. They showed the children in work clothes, not clothes that you would see a kid normally play in. It shows the young boys wearing overalls and button up shirts, and the young girls wearing dresses most of the time. The clothes just add to the notion that these kids are not there for fun, but are there to work. It was a modern institution of slavery. These kids worked because they had to, not because it was their choice. Looking at their faces, it does not look as if they are having a good time either. The owners of the companies had these kids work because they were cheaper, he could pay them a fraction of what he would have to pay an adult. This is the sad thing about child labor; these kids are worked to death and not even compensated for it.
The working conditions of 1907 are obviously not something that is desirable. No one who lives today would want to go back to the early 1900’s. What was once thought of as the golden ages is obviously not what it is built up to be. Children were at times worked to death and were not compensated for the work they put in. But do not think that child labor is dead today. Large corporations such as Nike still use children to do their work, because it is cheaper and they can make more profit. This has got to be stopped, because it is not fair treatment and these kids deserve more. Put yourself in their shoes, and think how you would want to be treated.
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Comments
Overall it is a good essay, well-organized. I would spend a lot more time on the introduction and conclusion to make sure they flow with the body. The body is full of good stuff, though.
Introduction: Good hook. The last two sentences are there, but never get developed, so they either need removed or more about them later. 3.
Essay Focus, Thesis or Main point: This is alluded to a lot, but nothing stands out clearly as a thesis in the intro.
Conclusion: Bringing up Nike is new information that needs to be introduced earlier. You could totally pull a good play on words with Nike and "shoes". 2.
Development of Ideas and/or Experiences: The body is definitely the power of your essay. 3+.
Organization, structure and/or paragraphing: Good. 3.
Wording and Sentence Structure: Replace the word "you" with "one" or another word. Otherwise good.
Conventions of Standard American English: Good. 3.
Adequacy of response to assignment: Good use of the savvy voter analysis to really dissect elements of the video. 3.
Appropriateness of topic treatment for college reading audience: What does this mean to me? How does it change how I live? Maybe look into those questions a little more. 2.
Response
Introduction- 2, I feel your hook is very good, I definitely wanted to keep reading, however, the organization throws me off, you should mention the book before the video, and include a specific passage from the book about child labor rather than just describing it.
Essay Focus, Thsis or Main Point-2, I'm not sure what your thesis is, I understand it regards child labor today, but I'm not sure I still see that brought up throughout the rest of your essay until the conclusion. For the most part you do stay focused on the video though.
Conclusion- 3, I like your conclusion, it may be short, but it does a good job driving the point home, while still revisiting the point of the essay
Development of Ideas and/or Experiences- 2, I feel like you could elaborate on why the issue was important, the examples are good, and you start to analyze their importance but you don't really complete your thoughts, also mentioning the african americans almost feels unneccessary because it throws off the topic and leads to some confusion as to what you are writing about
Organization, Structure, and/or Paragraphing-3, Your paragraphs follow a good structure, they all contain a topic statement and examples but they fail to connect back to the thesis, your analysis isn't very clear.
Word and sentence Structure- 2, I had a hard time following, sometimes, I would have to reread, your sentence sturcture is a little confusing, remember you have an audience. If it helps, you can try reading it out loud to yourself
Conventions of Standard American English-2, I feel like this connectsw back to sentence structure, sometimes your sentences run too long and muddle together. Like I said try reading it out loud to yourself, it will help you catch where you have made mistakes.
Adequacy of response to Assignment- 2, You have a very good start, make your thesis more clear and add a specific passage from the book. For the most part this works well as an analyiss but write more about how the topics connect to the thesis and why it's important.
Appropriateness of topic treatment for for college reading audience- 2-3, Like I have mentioned, this is a good start, and I can definetly see the point you are trying to make, but I feel like you should elaborate on the topics and make your thesis more clear.