Jaisa's Essay 1 draft

Jaisa Holland
English 101 10:30
Essay Summary 1


Posting and Responding to Essay Two Drafts

Draft Posting Process

Post drafts by midnight Friday, April 18. Respond to two draft by midnight Sunday, April 20. Do what revision you can and bring a printed copy of the essay to class on Monday. Email me with questions over the weekend.

  1. Log in to blog
  2. click on "create content"
  3. Click on "blog entry"
  4. Provide a title using your name and something indicating this is your first draft, such as "Bradley's Essay One Draft"
  5. Copy essay from word processing software. (You can actually do this at any point prior to this.)
  6. Paste essay into "body" box
  7. Restore breaks between paragraphs. Don't worry about loss of double spacing and other formatting
  8. Click "save"

Draft Response Process

  1. Be sure you are offering up the first or second response to the writer. If they have two when you begin, do not start with a third. Please wait until there is another draft to respond to. This is to ensure everyone gets two responses.
  2. Read the draft thoroughly and attentively
  3. Label your response with the author's name, such as "Response for Bradley"
  4. Address each of these questions:
    • What do you notice?
    • What do you value?
    • What do you question/challenge?
    • What questions do you have?
  5. Respond something like this: "One thing I noticed is that there are only general examples from Hua in each of the paragraphs. Rather than mention that Hua says reading often has little reward for the effort it requires, in relation to your dislike of academic reading, you might instead include a quote, something like Hua writes that much of the reading we do is more work than it is worth, for instance 'this kind of [Big Character Poster] reading entailed a great deal of effort for very meager returns, and often several days of poster perusal would turn up absolutely nothing of interest'(50). Then you'd want something similar from your reading experience, maybe school reading, maybe work reading, to illustrate your experience." This is the sort of response that will help you as a writer and the person you respond to.

Points to address in the response (taken directly from the assignment)

You need not touch on each and everyone of these. If you see someone has touched on the point in a previous response, consider touching on others. It is as important to touch on what you see going well in conjunction with what you see needing work.

  • Introduction elements: hook, context/background, one sentence summary of the text, transition to thesis (maybe, if it seems rough) and a thesis, one that provides a concise statement of what should come to believe. The thesis should indicate why the particular claim is of interest or importance.
  • First Body Element: Summary
    • First summary paragraph should open with writer's name and chapter title before moving straight to the summary
    • There should be NO commentary anywhere in the summary.
    • No quotes longer than two or three words, and only when it is impossible to avoid them.
    • Summary should have regular attributions of "Hua writes . . . " Attributions should open each summary paragraph and there should be another about halfway through.
  • Second Body Element: Response
    • Two to four response paragraphs required
    • each paragraph requires a clear topic statement (what's this about?), some explanation as to why the topic matters (why should readers care about this?), Some evidence/examples from you for certain and Hua would be a good addition (proof. examples, evidence), and some explanation tying the paragraph back to the thesis, connecting the dots of the thesis and point of the paragraph (warrant).
  • Conclusion: restatement of the thesis and major details is a good starting point, but go further. Plug the discussion into a broader context based on the context created by the thesis. Without touching on new ideas or providing new evidence, make it clear why understanding reading or writing as you do matters beyond the text and you.

Tuesday's Paragraph

Thesis: Reading enables people to travel through space and time.

Topic statement: One of the benefits of reading is it can take us away from the stresses of everyday life.

Importance of topic: Contemporary life has too much stress in it, what with being plugged into our phones seemingly 24-hours a day, at the beck and call of the “ping” of a new email, a new comment on Facebook or a new text from friends. Never mind the occasional phone call with a voice behind it.

Example: Even though I’m presently reading a historical text about the Boxer Rebellion at the turn of the 20th century, I find myself transported from my house in Spokane to the foreign legations of Beijing and all that both the Chinese and foreigners endured. When I read about the assault, the bullets raining down on the foreigners huddled behind the walls, about the mistreatment of the Chinese Christians by the westerners, I escape whatever it is that might be weighing me down.

Warrant: But this is the only way, through a book, that I can visit the China and Beijing (then Peking) of over 100 years ago, to imagine the Forbidden City as it was before outsiders were allowed in, to see the destruction, the rotting corpses in the street, and (this is where I stopped).

syllabus image

Cover Letter Assignment and Sample

Cover Letter Assignment

The final portfolio requires a cover letter that describes how your work in the class meets three of the course learning outcomes, found below (and in the syllabus). A "draft" cover letter will be submitted with Essays One and Two add midterm and a revised cover letter that addresses the two essays included in the final portfolio is due with that portfolio. A sample letter can be found below the list of learning outcomes. This cover letter does NOT receive a letter grade in the way the essays doe, but in the end, it will help me and other readers determine whether or not your portfolio meets departmental standards. In short, it matters.

  • Brainstorm varied ideas to support a claim of manageable scope for a given assignment.
  • Annotate a text in order to effectively analyze and evaluate the ideas in that text.
  • Research, analyze, use, and document information and ideas to develop a position.
  • Analyze, select, and record relevant, valid details in light of particular rhetorical purposes to support claims
  • Respond thoughtfully, precisely, and ethically to texts
  • Communicate with an academic audience to illustrate, analyze, or persuade
  • Organize ideas in a purposeful and coherent manner
  • Demonstrate writing that is a systematic process requiring thoughtful reconsideration and revision.
  • Improve prose through instructor, self, and peer feedback
  • Generate clear, grammatically correct prose
  • Apply conventions of a particular documentation style
  • Independently create original work meeting assignment requirements

Click "read more" for a sample cover letter. Click the attachment link to see the sample paragraph.

Preparing for Conferences and Portfolios

First, if you have not yet done so, you'll want to come by my office and sign up for a conference slot.

When you do come for your conference, this is what you should have done to prepare:

  1. Revise essay three to the best of your ability. Bring it with you to the conference. I'll return essay four at that time if I have not yet already done so.
  2. Revise the draft cover letter you submitted with the first and second essay when they were graded at midterm. Be sure to have addressed the comments provided. be ready to include examples from not just your midterm essay but from the one you submit for the final reading.
  3. If you received a low pass at midterm, you must either revise that essay or include both the third and fourth essay in your portfolio. If you revised it, bring that revision to the conference.
  4. You will need a manila folder to keep your portfolio together. They can be found in the bookstore if need be.

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