Read and respond to two or three essays that have been submitted for response. To best tell the writers how you view their writing in relation to the below criteria, provide some explanation. Do this for each of the response criteria. For each element, provide the following score and explain how you arrived at this score: 0 Absent/missing: should be self explanatory; 1 Emerging: visible but hardly noticeable, have to guess at it; 2 Discernible: You can see it, no guess work needed, but you aren't as sure about it as you'd like to be; 3 Workable/clear: Nicely done, no mistaking the element for what it is, but could be better; 4 Mastery: it would be hard to do better.

Introduction

The introduction should provide the reader a clear expectation of how the essay is going to progress by introducing Bybee, his text, and a properly cited passage from the text (though not necessarily all in the first sentence), providing sufficient background to whatever issue being introduced, segue from that background to the video and further segue from the video to a thesis that creates a clear expectation for the essay, one that provides some sense of interest, concern or importance with regard to the issue. If you see anything lacking in this regard, let the writer know. The various elements to look for are a hook, something that captures the reader's interest right away, something dealing with health care reform. The hook might best be followed by an introduction of the Bybee text and the point you will be looking at. From there the video needs to be introduced, and that may require a transition sentence between the quote and the video. It could also be a good idea to summarize the video in a single sentence before providing a thesis that makes a claim about the video. If you see something they have done you think is worthy of praise, let them know.

Essay Focus, Thesis or Main point

The focus of the essay should remain on the video itself once the springboard has put the discussion in motion. This happens when there is a clear thesis to articulate the point, each paragraph fits with and is tied back to the claim of the thesis, and the conclusion drives home the point of the thesis. The thesis, point or main idea is readily apparent, clearly expressed and creates a context for examining the evidence of the essay while offering an engaging focus. Additionally, each support paragraph contains a warrant (the explanation looking back to the thesis) establishing the relationship between each example and the thesis and the conclusion drives home the point raised in the thesis. If this is happening, tell the writer where you see it working well. If you don't see any of these elements, provide the writer some suggestions to address this concern.

Conclusion

The conclusion should drive home the point/claim of the thesis, building on the warrants supplied with each of the supporting paragraphs. While it's fine to restate the thesis and reiterate the main points, don't leave it at that. The conclusion is your last chance to get the reader to see things you way, so get up on your soapbox and shout it out, perhaps by plugging the issue into a broader context, maybe health care reform as part of a broader reform agenda, just don't go overboard so you look like a nut.

Development of Ideas and/or Experiences

Developing the claim of the thesis requires paragraphs that contain specific examples that have an obvious relationship to the thesis. Each supporting example is unmistakably pertinent to the claim of the thesis and is explained in a way that creates a clear link between that evidence and the thesis. Essay is packed with information and pertinent detail. Carefully chosen examples have a just right feel to them. Vivid language, deft comparisons, and colorful images both please and inform. Describe how you see this happening. If done well, describe what has been done well. If work needs to be done, provide some specific suggestions for the writer.

Organization, structure and/or paragraphing

This follows on the previous point. Effective paragraphs for this assignment will contain several elements: a topic statement making clear what is being examined (candidate mythology, props, music, etc.), some general discussion/explanation of the role played by the element being examined, a specific example or two showing how that element is used in the video and some explanation making it clear how the material of the paragraph supports and develops the claim of the thesis (otherwise known as a warrant). Let the writer know if any of these elements are missing in any of their paragraphs and provide suggestions on how they can correct this shortcoming.

Wording and Sentence Structure

Sentences should be intelligible upon first reading. Word choice should be accurate. Let the reader know if you run into any trouble making sense of sentences or understanding the use of a particular word or words. Feel free to suggest sentence level revisions, but the fundamental focus should be on bigger picture items, at or above the paragraph level.

Conventions of Standard American English

Even the best ideas can be undermined by a sloppy presentation, whether that's spelling, grammatical or punctuations errors (the few things about which there is a right and wrong in writing, as opposed to effective and ineffective) or formatting errors. These are important concerns. Let the writer know if you run into any punctuation, spelling, verb tense or other mechanical/grammatical or format errors and suggest ways to correct them. You needn't do this with each and every error you run into. Limit yourself to the most obvious three.

Adequacy of response to assignment

The essay should use a concept from chapter two of On Liberty as a springboard to an analysis of a video of the students choosing. The video should be analyzed using the PBS Savvy Voter criteria. Is the assignment completed as assigned? Is so, give the writer an indication of what they've done well in your view. If not, tell the writer what holes need plugging.

Appropriateness of topic treatment for college reading audience

Is the essay's treatment of the topic so simplistic that it cannot be taken seriously or wholly engaging and entertaining to a well-read reader, one that provides a fresh take on the topic? Likely it's somewhere in the middle, but tell the writer what you think in this regard. Is the essay touching on something of interest and/or importance? I include this because it's one of the portfolio criteria so something you want to be aware. Doing a good job with the above elements of the assignment should eliminate the possibility of faring poorly in this vein.